Yeah, yeah, this page is so old that I
had to dust it off. The new page is under construction. In the
meantime, please look at my shameless plug or
check out the Lowlands 2003 poster. In case you haven't seen this page, please enjoy the bullshit
|
This is the one and only SpastSite, totally devoted to the spastic lifestyle.
You might think that being spastic is a 'bad thing'. Well, that may have been
the case, but not anymore. Think about it, when you act a bit spastic, everyone
thinks you are stupid! And stupid people can get away with a lot more things.
Let me give you some examples:
-
When you accidentally hit someone with your wheelchair, they will utter "sorry"
to you, instead of the other way around.
-
People tend to pity you and treat you differently because of that. For example:
no more waiting in line at roller coasters, Empire State Building, festivals,
toilets, sometimes supermarkets, road crossings....
-
You can attempt to hit a pigeon with your wheelchair and no one will judge you!
I can tell you, it gives way more satisfaction than playing even the most realistic
computer game.
This is just a short list of advantages. Not convinced yet? Look here for more advantages!
Of course there are also drawbacks.
However, you avoid those drawbacks by acting spastic only when you need it.
This way you can prevent the feeling that you are not taken seriously just because
you're spastic. You really get the best of both worlds!
So, what do we offer you? We offer you a training course consisting of
these lessons:
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Training in spastic movement patterns by our expert. He has 25 years of hands-on
experience in this field and is extremely spastic. If you can't learn
it from him, you'll probably never learn it! To determine whether or not you have a talent for this, take a look at the first lesson.
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A crash course in driving electric wheelchairs. You'll quickly get skilled in
dodging people, making sharp turns and driving in such a way that people really
think you're a complete twit!
When you have passed the practical exam, you'll get an original, one-of-a-kind
spastic.nl email address.
If you are interested in taking the course, send an email to:
marijn@spastic.nl.
SpastSighting
Yes, you can actually see me promoting this site! However, because I'm not always
on the road, take a look at the picturebook!
SpastShirt
You can now order the unique SpastShirt. It features
the spastic.nl logo on the front and the text "If you can read this, I've lost
my wheelchair!" on the back. The text on the back is placed in such a way that it's
only readable when you are NOT in a wheelchair. The price is 13,- euro.
